cnc

my heart feel so pain and jealous when someone actually date u out. why? do u know that i'm jealous n all? what's the meaning of jealous? sometimes i think that what's the point of leaving so long in life? that's only if u found happiness. Everything just transite so much. i cant take it at all.. i miss u..

cnc

I have nothing to say anymore!! I HATE IT... I mean to be good yet ended up this way.. why like that? what have i did in my life? My heart just hurt so so much. no one knows.

cnc

I waited for her wishes and all but i receive none of it.. I do not know whether is it the end and all. I just hate myself alot. Why i will be apart with her? i seriously love her alot. she facing difficulties? All along i wish i'm there. My mind just thinking of her whole freaking day ever we stopped contacting. I really miss her alot. So much wanting to hug her n all. The stress i'm facing now just driving me crazy. I really feel like quitting.. i cant hold it anymore. can u just come back to my side. please...

cnc

I'm worrying about you. But just that nothing i can do. I had so much things to say to you. wishing upon your return.

dreams..

I dreamt of you again. I'm clueless which part of the world you are. i miss you alot. really alot. i do not know whether you did think of me. How you manage to stop thinking of me and stop contacting me. Is hard for me to do so. I guess maybe there's no more feeling for me. I know you are a nice girl that alot guy would want it. I do not know whether they truely love you or just because of 'first impression' at least i know for us is not. I really started off because i really love you and feel that you are the right person for me. most of the things we had is in common. You should know how hard we try to be togther at the start. I really put in alot efforts fot this 2years. If you have difficulties and all, let me know. things would be better if we talk it out. I know i have to understand, i really do.. you must trust me k? love..

*heart*

My Mind

argh.. this is not the usual me at all. i just cant stop myself from thinking of you. I'm worried and wanting to know everything of you. I really wish miracles would happen now. I'm willing to change for you. I want shows you that i really understand your feeling and do care for you alot.. that's why i react to be jealous. =( i always trusted you, is not the ways you are thinking.. Every single moment i'm waiting for your return and all. I always thought that after NS, more or less we settled down. when i graduated, i really hope that i can engage with you. You are really a nice girl that i ever had and dont wish to lose. You have never stop showering me with all your loves and encouragement when i'm down. You always there for me and be my listening ears. I understand that this 2years, u have hard time going through, i have little time for u.. but the happy moments we had is so gorgerous and wonderful. I really need that chance to prove it all to you and not by saying.. If you really do read my post, i got we can make through it. i love you alot n willing to sacrifice my life for it. My mind now is full of ur images. In fact, i willing to wait for you till you ready and settle down with your work for me. i love and misses u lots. I hope minimumly we are able to keep in touch and i can accompanied u whenever u need a person to talk to.. hearts..

FUCK!!

FUCK FUCK FUCK!! why izzit so hard to believe me? what's with the 3years? Loving a person like u izzit so freaking hard? Where's the TRUST? or izzit my words are just not reliable to u? If one day a person waits for u for 3years and give up on u. finding himself a new gf. cannot meh? dont u think is a good thing to him? at least he really really find his very very love ones? why should u doubt on him? just because of that freaking 3years? U know how he's feeling and all? he's been hurt for once and for twice. of cos he needs more time to settle his feeling and all. most importance, his confidence on loving a person hard. he might thinks that u will hurt me in future too right?

[chris]